WARNING: Please Do Not Attempt To Perform These Stunts

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Written submissions of any kind will not be accepted by Chuck Buda or the producers.

The following list represents the most dangerous activities to be attempted while writing. Reader discretion is advised.

  1. Toasting bread – Never wait for the smoke detector to signal you it’s time to check on breakfast. It’s too late!
  2. Checking social media – Pets (mostly cats) with strong political opinions inviting you to play games. ‘Nuff said.
  3. Mailing signed books – Postal workers might be candid with their opinion on the types of books you write. Hint: female postal workers prefer Romance. (sample size 1)
  4. Answering emails – ALWAYS check the address you are sending your most intimate thoughts to. TRUST ME.
  5. Sharing a new book idea with friends – If it isn’t a winner, you will never hear the end of it. NEVER.
  6. Leaving the phone on the hook – The people who call you during daytime hours are NOT the people you WANT to speak with. How did I end up on a catheter company’s list???
  7. Fitting in Exercise…on Ice – I hope Google Earth wasn’t filming the day I slid 40 yards on my ass with my legs over my head.
  8. Going to the doctor – Writing is the reason you gained weight, your blood pressure is up, and why he’ll have to check your prostate…TWICE.
  9. Attempting to barter books for monthly bills – The reason I make this post from the local coffee shop. They still have power and Wi-Fi…and heat and water.
  10. Eating hot chili – This should be a no-brainer. But eating/drinking while writing is a common occurrence. Hot chili covered in gooey, melted cheese doesn’t mix well with the keyboard. My space bar is stuck to the bottom now.

The list of incredibly dangerous activities goes on, but I really need to get back to all of the above. Feel free to send me your list of most dangerous writing activities. If it impresses me enough, I might send you some crispy toast.

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